This is not that i was in traumatic situation and waiting in the queue for my chance at the doorstep of hell...
Perhaps in few occassion, i find myself occupied in "i'm gone" like situation but not to this extent...
A moment which brings smile...
A moment which catches my lost breath...
A moment which make me dead sometime...
This is something, when you will have a sweet pain in your heart and you keep on saying keep it up to yourself with a confused smile...
This is a moment where i get stucked in and can't get out...even i don't wish to come out as it gives me a gleam of "the day when i felt like i'm gone"
2nd June 2007, Shopper's stop : i had come early 2 finish the schduled PICS (Technical jargon)...so i was carrying my work with a brand staff, seductive but yet irritating...after finishing my PICS, i got engaged in my other stuffs...but as time was passing by, my beats were getting sound...a girl, who was going to be my everything, had come with one of her closed friend...both were standing pretty close to me...i knew i did some thing wrong...her friend had come with a killer intention...
It was nothing rather a misunderstanding between us...as it was just the begining of our relationship and so she was badly hurted by me...
Her friend told me all about it and then ran away...we were alone there...and after that whatever have had happened between us...is deep within my head...
We had not spoken a single word to each other untill she left...
I could speak through her eyes...
I could hear her cracked innervoice which was going in her head...
I could peep through her eyes that how deep i reside within her...
I could see her blind trust in me...
I could feel how fast she was breathing...
I could feel how much she had been hurted by me...
I was so touched because i could see the fear of losing the lost thing(me) in her eyes...
I could see how special i'm for her...
This was the time when love was knocking at doorbay of my heart...albeit it had been knocking for quite some time but i was the one who din't hear it well...it might be the analog gaping between two same frequencies...just kiding...
I was almost paralised...
I couldn't speak...
I couldn't move...
My vocal pipe was badly threaten by and hence chocked...
My brain was throwing questions over questions while some of them returning unanswered...and who cares about unanswered when this is "the day when i felt like i'm gone"...
As an individual, i literally hate the word love...because the word love has been victimised by love itself...because love is an expression of happiness and abundance rather than pain, noise or scream...
Whenever i feel low...i start recalling the pal which was poured deeply into my blood, flesh and soul...and everytime it reverts me with a smile because i was not the victim of love rather i was gifted...
We tried hard to become one but as every story doesn't have a happy ending...
But i'm happy because i was special for her...
So whenever i feel low or broken...i just go back and wish to get doused with "the day when i felt like i'm gone"...
This is really great..i'm feeling good that i was the part of this life which you have had spent with me during our internship..
ReplyDeleteIt's good that you have come up and have learnt to enjoy that time..
And i dint know that you could express yourself to this extent and this made me to think about you in some other way..
It's really cool..
Thanx alok..
ReplyDeleteEven i enjoyed your company there in mum..it was much fun there if you just press delete that time when it was hard to resist..
And somehow you need to recover from such things..yeah for a time being, you feel depressed but getting out of it is much wiser than to live with it..
Thanx again..
God bless you..
Take care..
Now i can say that you break the law. It seems like she pause, somewhere, in the past. You are still living under her image. You praise her memories and that's good. Once life had scold me in love and now i'm nomore in her memories. It was difficult to forget her but i dig it somewhere in the past. But your post brings everything in front of my dark eyes. It was really lovely and unforgetable but now all are meaningless memories as your another post "Meaningless Memories".
ReplyDeleteThanks.
@meiteiamo i dnt kn' whr i break d law but it's like so then i lov 2 break it evrytim it cums 2 ma way..
ReplyDeletei read it twice and now got to know that it's all about what had happened in that particular moment.
ReplyDeletei still remember that day when you had come and shared all that with us including saha. and you were not able to control your breath even.
am i right bro.
@alok rite dude..chalo atleast samaj mai aaya to wat itz all abt..n really watevr happnd thr was still backed up 4 quite smtime..i dint notic of ma breath whn i was tellin u all tat..nw itz all past n over to deep freezed memories..if i want it to get activated 4 a time being..i dnt thnk so it wl dare to get activated..
ReplyDeleteGod bles u
n tc of blue..hahaha
hey !stly i want to congratulate u. You have developed good sence of expessing yourself n next I can really feel wht u felt at the time when u was in SSL Mumbai. Dear its Great to rem. ur past but Still donot not give too much ur time 4 past that can hamper ur present and future. Any Ways I can Say to all Arif is a gr8 blogger. Love to read ur blogs
ReplyDeletebest Regards For Future Blo0gs
Slefless GUy
@selfishguy thank u..n thanx again..i dnt thnk im dat much dat u r makin ur view to all..
ReplyDeleteN yeah u r vry much true..bt u kn' der r few geniue mstaks of ur life whch u dnt wana forget u..u use such mstakes to strengthn ur will to mov ahead n to recovr all ur dead time..
Thz z ma view..n so i keep refreshng such moments to strengthn me..n f ur weakns, turns as ur strength..trust me no1 can stop u..
God bless u